Who am I? Just an older lady with a lot of thoughts that I cannot always verbalize. I do not like confrontations, arguments, raised voices or words dripping with anger or criticism. I just want everyong to "get along" and wouldn't the world be a better place to be? I have had and currently have some mental health issues and have actually seen a psychiatrist for a while. He taught me many things about myself. The one thing I remember most is that he recommended that I write in a journal everyday - not worry about spelling, sentence structure or paragraphs, but just write down what I was feeling and why and if I could figure out a way to handle the situation, put that down also so we could talk about it later. I did that for a while, but like most people, it suddenly became just another "chore" I had to do, so I stopped. And the fact that I am lazy. And the fact that I did not want to think about what was bothering me and if and when I could figure out a way to fix it. Well it is a new year and I have thought about blogging since both my daughter and niece blog their thoughts and I like reading them as they give me enjoyment and are sometimes learning experinces about what is going on in their lives. You notice it took me 11 days of the new year to actually sit down and figure out how to start a blog, so I guess you could say I procrastinate also. It took me less than 10 minutes to sign up to blog and actually start typing, so it wasn't that hard.
I wanted to blog because I would like to be able to see in writing what I am thinking and try to put it into some order that would make sense about what I am feeling about my life. Why I'm happy, why I'm sad, why I'm angry, why I'm hurt, why I'm disappointed and why I put off doing things that really need to be done. And I would welcome any comments from anyone who reads this. Just be warned that you may be the one that makes me happy, makes me sad, makes me angry, hurts my feelings or disappointments me. My point is not to piss anyone off, but to let people know what "My Inner Thoughts" are and see if someone can help me figure out things from a different perspective and point of view.
Also, if days go by and I don't blog, I need someone to bug me to blog, because that is when I will probably need to do it the most. Like I said, I don't want to piss anyone off, but I think it will be hard to say what is bothering me when the person bothering me will be reading this. Just remember, if I didn't love you, what ever you said or did wouldn't matter to me. Maybe I misunderstood you or just didn't see things from your point of view. My feelings do get hurt pretty easy and for some reason I have not figured out, I don't know how to handle letting people know.
Basically, I am asking for help to make myself a happier person who can learn to deal with what life throws at me. I hope I can count on all who read this blog to help me live a stress-free (as much as possible), happy, productive, care free live and become a better wife, mother, sister, aunt and daughter. Help me please!!!! Come on, you can do it!!!
2 comments:
WOW! After reading your blog, I think it says three things about you.
1. You have a lot of Courage! It takes someone with confidence to share what you just did. I don't think you actually have as many problems as you seem to think you have. You already know so much about yourself, many people go through life and never recognize that they need help and just live in their own darkness. So first and foremost, good for you for taking this huge leap of faith to ask for ideas, opinons, suggestions that might give you a whole knew outlook.
2. You are Unselfish!! Believe it or not, you don't realize how you sharing about your own demons may be helping others that read this to recognize their own and hopefully they will seek help/answers too. So in my opinion this makes you very unselfish because this blog no longer belongs just to you, but now is a tool for whomever is brave enough to make good use of it!
3. You are Open minded! The fact that you are asking for help makes you open minded! AND that means that you are no longer living in your dark place alone and there is a whole new world waiting for you to join.
I think you make living a "happy" life way too hard. I believe we make choices in everything we do, whether it is to get up out of bed, go to work, smoke, drink, eat {ok, overeat!!!} AND I am a firm believer in choosing to be HAPPY! I know that sounds so cliche, but it really is a choice, a frame of mind, a decision. Lucky for us, we are all in charge of ourselves and we actually get to choose how we are going to look at life situations.
I remember when I went through my divorce. I allowed myself an ample amount of time to grieve I would say maybe 2 or 3 weeks, then after that, I said enough. I am not going to let this control the rest of my life. I am NOT going to allow this to make me sad and keep me sad. I actually remember physically holding my hand out in front of me as if to say STOP, everytime I would let that anger and hurt come in to my mind. I remember doing it at the store, at my desk, walking in the mall, whenever it seeped back in, that is what I did. And after about 2 or 3 days of doing that, it just slowing left the space in my brain and that was it. No more tears, no more anger, no more pitty party, no more resentment, no more pain. That was that!!! Move on, turn the page, next chapter!! And that is pretty much how I live my life today. I let very few things affect me because frankly, they really aren't that important in the big scheme of life.
So for today, I want to leave you with... YOU are Courageous, YOU are Unselfish, YOU are Open minded!!! Three very great traits that give you POWER to conquer ANYTHING life throws at you!
I hope you found my thoughts empowering! Life is too short, live it to the fullest!!!
Thank you Shirley. That really made me feel good about my self. I never though that I was courageous, unselfish or open minded before, so I think you just boosted by confidence a bit. Keep those comments coming and I will try to take you advice about not letting the little things bother me so much and worry about the "what ifs" that I always worry about. Kristen always says that also, but seeing it in writing seemed to make me realize how right she and you are. Thanks again!!!
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